Friday, September 29, 2006

No Sleep, No Solution

“What are you hoping for? A boy or girl?” People would ask me before we found out he was going to be a boy.

“Oh, I don’t care,” I would answer. “I just want a happy, healthy baby.” Which was true. But I should have added: who is a good sleeper.

It’s not that he won’t sleep through the night; in fact, once he falls asleep, he is the perfect sleeping baby. It’s not staying asleep that’s the problem, it’s getting there. He just hates going to sleep. Maybe he has some sort of birth defect that makes the act of falling asleep feel like he’s being stabbed all over with sharp knives? Who knows?

Occasionally we’ll have a night where, at a reasonable hour, the baby smiles, closes his eyes, and goes off to dreamland. Then we try to figure out why it worked that night, as opposed to almost every other night.

“I guess he was the right amount of tired. You know, if he’s not tired enough, he won’t sleep, and if he’s too tired, he won’t sleep. Ok honey, take me through your day and tell me every way in which the baby was stimulated so we may do this again tomorrow.”

“He ate dinner at 5:45 instead of 5:30. Maybe that’s it?!?!?!”

“I let him suck on the remote for five minutes instead of taking it away like I usually do! The remote is sleepytime magic!”

“It must be that dog biscuit he was chewing on.”
“You let him chew on a DOG BISCUIT?!?!?!”

It’s gotten worse now that he’s teething. Oh God, what a nightmare. Every night we bust out the Orajel like it’s baby crack, and he sucks on a saturated q-tip with a blissful smile on his face-then promptly goes back to wailing and flailing.

So why not just let him stay up? You ask. Trust me, I would totally do that. I would let him crawl around and chew on toys to his heart’s content while I sat half asleep against the wall “watching” him, if he wanted to. But he doesn’t. Because at around 9:00, his little wee body decides it’s had enough for the day, and tries to go to sleep. But his mind won’t have it. So if I take him out of bed and try to get some more playtime in to tire him out, he just sits there SOBBING. Or, worse, he puts his head on the ground and his butt in the air and kind of pushes around whining. Because he’s TOO TIRED to stay awake...and too willful to go to sleep. So back to bed we go, where he still screams, but at least I can lean on pillows instead of slumped against a wall.

Yeah. This kid is going to be a LOT of fun when he’s like 15. Totally looking forward to that.


At 2:30 PM, Blogger one smarmy mama said...


Yeah, E is the same way. I wish I had a solution. If you find one, let me know.

At 12:03 PM, Anonymous Jenny said...

Have you tried a vibrating teether. Hailey LOVED hers.

That and hylands teething tablets.

And vodka.

For me.

At 7:36 AM, Blogger braiding mommy said...

I went through the same thing of trying to figure out the one magical thing that made Lydia sleep. Ugh... not fun.


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