Monday, September 18, 2006

Flashback, Creek Style

I was flipping through the cable guide last night when I happened upon something that made me think I’d jumped into a wormhole to 1997: Dawson’s Creek.

That’s right, the Creek Crew is now on syndication on the (soon to be CW[?]) WB. Oh how my heart fluttered when I came upon this bit of information.

Ten years ago, I was thirteen years old. I was in 7th grade. And I was watching the pilot episode of Dawson’s Creek. And then taping it and watching it as many times as I could until the new episode next week. And saving the tapes for my future daughter who would surely need the adolescent TV drama to teach her how to interact with boys and possibly (gasp!) get them to kiss her. It’s literally crazy how much I loved that show. I watched a few minutes of the pilot rerun last night, and although I will admit that the writing was pretty witty and funny and I think influential to a whole generation of teeny bopper TV, I had to laugh at my 13 year old self for being so absolutely obsessed with it.*

And it just made me realize, good lord, how different ten years have made me.

And it made me wonder, what in the world am I going to be like in ten more?

When I was back in my Dawson’s dream state, imagining going to high school like those cool older kids on the show (!) and having all sorts of my own drama and true high school loves (!!), I probably couldn’t have guessed that really, in ten years, this is how I’d turn out. Hell, I could barely fantasize to the end of high school, but ten years? That’s like forever!

I remember on my college application, a question asked, “where do you see yourself in ten years?” I don’t remember what I said exactly, but something along the lines of, graduated, with a blossoming career, perhaps marriage and children in the near or far future. Honestly, though, I can’t see myself in ten years. All I see is a kind of shimmery blurb, with shadowy figures of people I love now who I pray remain in my life, with a kind of hope that I’m happy and content the way I am now. Because who knows what the future holds? I know at age 13, I couldn’t have predicted half of the terrible, wonderful, tragic and beautiful things that I would live through and experience in ten years time. And that’s a good thing. Because if I had it all figured out, there wouldn’t be room for all those wonderful surprises. And if I deviated from my set “path,” I would worry that I wasn’t doing the right thing, or beat myself up for not following through with my plans.

I’m so grateful for my life today, and for all the gifts I have. I truly am blessed. My little boy is getting his first tooth, and it’s SO COOL. To think, there was a time (maybe around ten years ago?) when I thought, kids? Who wants those things? I want a career and blah blah blah tripe blah.

(Come to think of it, I'll bet ten years ago Michelle Williams never would have thought she'd be married to Health Ledger and have his baby girl, nor would Katie Holmes think she'd be Mrs. Tom Cruise with a rug rat either. Huh, looks like I turned out like my Creek idols afterall.)

So thank you, Dawson’s Creek reruns, for reminding me how odd and funny I was ten years ago, and of all the surprises and blessings life has bestowed upon me since.

* My obsession didn’t last the whole run of the Dawson’s series, but I did tune in to see the series finale. Did you see that? Where Jen died? That was totally awesome, because I always hated Jen with her little duck face! I liked Joey, with her little crooked face.


At 5:09 AM, Anonymous Jenny said...

When i was in High school we had to do one of those "where will you be in 10 years" things. I found it recently.

I think my high school me would be dissappointed that I'm not a cowgirl/ballerina. But I'm ok with it.

At 12:18 PM, Anonymous lauren said...

jen lindley is infinitely more awesome than joey potter.

At 3:00 AM, Blogger Emma Kaufmann said...

Me too! I used to watch Dawson's Creek when I was in my twenties. I used to get all sentimental about it and thought it was really deep. I am so embarassed about this now. I always hated Dawson though and thought Joey was nauseating.

At 2:47 PM, Blogger Clay Bethelbridge said...

I really liked that shoow. It was realistic.


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