Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Sometimes I have conversations with my mom...

...that make me realize why I'm weird. I mean, I'm not THAT weird, and I guess everybody's weird in some ways, but sometimes we talk and I'm like, that? That's WHY I'm weird.

My parents babysat last night, and my mom has a bad shoulder. She was telling me this morning on the phone how she was trying to hold the baby and go to the bathroom at the same time because my dad wasn't home from work yet. I was kind of half listening then I was like, whaaaa? Did you just say you went PEE while HOLDING my kid? He's gonna need therapy!

Then she launched into this whole thing about how my parents are free with the nudity (ew, yeah I've tried to block out the memories, and ew again), and they didn't want us (my sister and I) to be ashamed of our bodies, etc., and we would walk in on my dad after he got out of the shower so it's not like it's HIS fault if we ever saw his weenie, and I'm like, hello, door locks?

Then she was like, well, I think we're really more hippies than you guys are, even though we don't smoke dope. I'm like, what the fuck? We don't either! And I don't claim to be a hippie (yes I realize what my user name is on this thing but she doesn't know about it), you're the one who always tells me my baby "smells like a hippie." I'm not making this up. She says that all the time. I think he smells like a baby. My husband is in love with this patchoulli room spray, which may be the culprit, but it's not like he sprays in ON the baby, or really even around him, so who knows why the baby "smells like a hippie." I mean, we shower and use deoderant. The real kind, not like "natural" deoderant either.

I think it's the weirdest thing ever to use the toilet while holding a baby. Isn't it? I know there are some situations where your kid is gonna see you naked, like when I HAVE to take a shower and I leave him in the doorway in his little seat, but the TOILET? While HOLDING him? It seems so bizarre. Isn't it?


At 1:06 PM, Blogger Jenni said...

Well she's definitely a multi-tasker!

At 2:55 PM, Blogger Alisyn said...

I have been known to NURSE a baby while peeing! Sometimes, it just seems easier that putting the baby down, racing to pee, wipe, wash and hustle back to baby... all while my blood pressure sky-rockets, listening to those sad, confused baby cries.

Weird, but true.


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