Monday, June 19, 2006

Back to School

I went on a work errand today to Staples and bought a 2006-2007 school year planner. I need to go back to school this fall, and I figured that if I actually spent $10.00 on a planner, $10.00 which could pay for a couple nights dinner, $10.00 which could buy a package of diapers, $10.00 which could pay for two days of gas, it would make me actually GO to school. See, this is how I work, I'm frugal, remember? If I bought an academic planner, by God, it will NOT go to waste.

I went in the fall of '05. I had the baby at the end of January '06, so I obviously took that semester off. As it is, I need one more class to become a junior. It would seem like a huge waste to quit now, but honestly, it's hard to go back. To keep going back. I'm 22, it's not like I dropped out and "went back" twenty years later or something. I've just taken off so many semesters, to work, to drink, to spill human life from my loins, it seems like every semester is "going back" all over again. And honestly, if I never graduated, although it would be a personal failure, I'm not sure it would be so horrible. I like my job. When I graduate, am I going to have a find a new one? HASSLE! I mean, if I can make more money with a degree, then it would be stupid not to. But I've been working here for...five, six years? A damn long time. I know the ins and outs of this job better than anything. As a creature of habit, I look with dread toward the prospect of trying something new. Also, the laziness. How, how lazy I am, truly. Also, it would be a HUGE disappointment to my family if I never graduated. I think that's everyone's secret fear anyway-"she got married and had a baby, what if she never *GASPS* graduates?"

Oh, the horror, the horror of not graduating. I don't believe that you can't be successful in life without a diploma. Sure you can. And school isn't for everyone. But, see, I'm not one of those people school isn't for. I LOVE school. I love writing papers, reading assignments, and getting good grades. Maybe this is tied in somehow with my need to people-please. But nevertheless. I love school. I need to finish. My cousin just graduated from high school, and if I'm not careful, she'll finish college before me! But seriously, I want to get back to school. It's just hard to pick up and do it. Breastfeeding schedules, overtime pay I'll be missing, going to see a counselor, driving 20 miles to school and back a couple times a week...really, now that I'm writing it all down, it doesn't sound like that what's my excuse?

Shooooot, I even have an 06-07 academic planner!


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