Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Sister Nina and the olympics for blind dogs of orphans with brain cancer

Somehow I've ended up on the suckers mailing list.

A few weeks ago, I got one of those fundraising letters for some kids with cancer society. And, they sent me PERSONALIZED ADDRESS LABELS! Hell yeah! That, paired with the fact that now that I have a kid I'm a huge wuss about sick kids, I sent off my $12.00 check and happily put the stickers on all my outgoing mail. And, unknowingly, put myself on the mailing list of "suckers who will give you money if you send them personlized address labels, because they feel bad that the labels already say their name, and they hate to waste the resources of organizations that do good things for kids."

Now, I get these kinds of fundraising letters at least four times a week. Animals. Sick kids. The freaking Olympics (not the special kind, just the regular kind). EVERYONE wants to give me personalized address labels in return for my generosity. What am I supposed to do here? If I send them all money, then even MORE people will be asking for my money. But I can't keep the labels without sending them money, right? Isn't that just wrong? These kids have brain tumors for Christs sake! I'm about to just throw them all away, but I know I'll feel guilty for wasting. I even got a letter from some nun that included a NECKLACE. I'm like, people, maybe you wouldn't need to send out these letters if you kept the money you spent on all the free swag! My husband thinks most of them are scams anyway. I don't know, they may very well be. But I do know this: If I sent $12.00 to these people four times a week, that's $48.00 a week. That's $192.00 a month. That's $2,304.00 A YEAR. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? At this rate, I'll be sending out fundraising letters to feed my child because all my money is gone to the orphans with brain cancer and their blind dogs. Not to mention the fact that the first thing I sent money to, the cancer kids, keeps asking for MORE money. "Oh, here's a picture of little Jimmy, who was helped by your money. Here is a picture of little Suzy, who's still dying, because you're FRUGAL!!!"

Since I can't use the stickers without paying, and I certainly can't pay everyone, I think I'm just going to trash the labels and get myself on the "cold hearted bitches who don't care about kids or animals" list. Am I the only one who has to face this dilemma??

Also, thanks for the comments people who commented! I feel cool! (which is an indication about how much of a nerd I am). And yes, like Silver Surfer said, I want to use this blog to practice my writing. It's my intention to get some stories or prose or SOMETHING up here, if I can sit in front of a blank Word page and not get the sweats. Baby steps, baby steps.


At 12:44 PM, Blogger GIRL'S GONE CHILD said...

that is hilarious. i'm always telling the telemarketers the same shit. "um, i would love to give money but the thing is, i was literally selling my body on the blvd this morning SO MY KID COULD EAT." Somehow they never feel for me. one day i'll be able to give to charity again, to the olympics for blind dogs of orphans with brain cancer.

At 7:58 AM, Blogger ThePurpleSeal said...

Hi there,

I enjoyed reading your article. I just thought i might aswell let you know that i get all my address labels printed by a british labels company for a really low price. If you are at all interested then you might aswell take a look at their website as they do all types of label printing services.


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