Well it looks like my fears have been put to rest: I've stopped breastfeeding.
I had to take some medication that you can't breastfeed on. I decided I would do the ol' pump and dump, because I fully intended to start again once I was off the medication. The first night was a NIGHTMARE. The baby sleeps in bed with us, and he's used to nursing like 15 times a night. I'm not even exaggerating. He is CONSTANTLY on the boob. In fact, if he happens to become removed from the boob for any reason, he cries and wakes me up and gets on the boob again. Needless to say, I have not been getting my full nights rest. So the first night he constantly screamed and pulled on my shirt. I felt bad for him, because obviously you can't reason with a baby. Eventually my husband got him to sleep after I left the room. Then, on night #2, a miracle happened: my husband gave him a bottle and the baby rolled over and fell asleep. All of a sudden, it was morning, and I didn't remember waking up once. Oh no, I thought. I must have slept through all his crying! Poor husband...but it turns out...the baby slept throught the night. The whole thing. HE SLEPT THROUGH THE MOTHERFUCKING NIGHT PEOPLE. I don't think that has EVER happened.
And? He's become less clingy and doesn't cry when I go to work anymore. Last night was the second night off the boob, and he only woke up once. I gave him a bottle and he snuggled right back to sleep. I am still in shock about this-we've broken him of his boob addiction! He's off the boob!
I had a hard time deciding whether or not I should stop breastfeeding permanently. I took into account the fact that he's extremely willful and it would be even harder to break a 2 yr. old than a 10 month old, and I was NEVER going through that night #1 nightmare again. And if we ever want that kid out of our bed, getting him to sleep through the night was a good first step. It will be so much easier now that he isn't literally so attached all the time. I know breastfeeding is SO GOOD for kids, but, for us, the time was now. So I stopped pumping, and here we are. No more nursing. I'm free! That sounds harsh. But I am! I was very sad about if for awhile, but now I'm completely happy with the decision.
Dude. My tit hurts SO BAD. I say tit because leftie was fine with the whole decision. He was like, man, I wanted to quit this shit months ago! But rightie is all, NEVEEEEEEERRRRR!! He's the size of a melon. I'm pumping a little bit when it gets too painful to go on, but I think that's just encouraging him. I am such a WEANie.
AND. As some of you may remember, I found the whole world of "mommyblogging" during my pumping sessions at work. It was a nice hobby for awhile, but...now I don't pump anymore. And things keep popping up to fill my time. I'll probably still write on occasion and read other blogs sometimes, but this is really about it for me. So, to my loyal...2 readers? What, do 3 people read?...farewell, it's been cool.